As WeekEndGame series slowly returns to business as usual, we cracked open Starcraft 2‘s Kinder egg and looked for a trucking job in Carlsbad, CA, USA. Yes, we’re back!
In Today’s News
It’s patch 3.3.2 for the best RTS ever made, Starcraft 2! And, probably in the light of E3’s onslaught of hype over pink paint tins, nobody seems to give a hoot. Well, we do, a bunch.
The Vermillion Problem is the name of spanking new free-of-charge co-op map and after taking our armies through it a good number of times, we conclude it’s the best gorram thing Blizzard’s thrown in to the mix in a long time.
It’s fiendishly clever, it’s minty refreshing, it’s beautifully paced, it’s exquisitly balanced, it’s… commentated by AI through the rendered mouth of none else than Wings of Liberty campaign’s silly anchor, Donny Vermillion. And yeah, he is, again, pretty damn funny.
Donny Vermillion. I can't help but laugh just seeing him. I had my doubts when he kicked off with the almost football commentary but trust me, it's bloody brilliant.
In the midst of periodically raising lava, the objective is to use your workers to collect enough crystals to stabilize the... stabilizer, that... stabilizes stuff. Here's the first crystal while I, as mighty Artanis, prepare my base for mass production of Zealots and Dragoons.
My wife controls Zagara. They're awesome together, no joke.
The depiction of a panicking city carries some sublime detail. I honestly have no idea how no one screams from the rooftops about this beautiful map.
Second batch of crystals gets hauled back to base as Donny announces an imminent lava surge.
Zagara's strike force is suicidal, no doubt about it. But not that suicidal. They'll happily lay their lives for their queen...
... when shit hits the fan.
It did hit the fan on two fronts and it's up to me to fight my way to the next crystal.
The timing between lava surges and workers rushing back to base with the hard-won loot gets tighter and tighter thanks to increasing distance and escalating strentgh of patrolling scum.
Yeah, the bonus objective is a blow-it-up one but only appears when the lava is up. Not that it's a problem for Zagara's Infested Drop.
Enemy Hybrid, Immortals and Colossi aren't much of a threat to my Zealots on steroids. Fully upgraded Dragoons snipe from afar.
The 'action' is best avoided by workes but sometimes they get a little too close for comfort.
Two crystals spawn in Zagara's area of operations. Insectoid Hell descends upon their 'keepers'.
With one crystal to go, Zagara's worker is trapped by lava, alone on that platform. If a patrol spawns there, we're in doo-doo...
... or we're not! What an absolutely riveting game of co-op thanks to Zagara and Donny!
And there are many more riveting games to have as we replay the map with Karax and, once more, Zagara at the helm of our armies. Karax with his strange fetish for Cannon Rushing is particularly a blast here.
Karax's idea of a welcome party as the bonus-objective insect emerges with raising lava.
Yeah. This game fucking rules. That's all I have to say.
What Goes to Vegas…
You may complain that SCS’s American Truck Simulator doesn’t go far enough from their Euro… Same Thing. But, way I see it, it didn’t really have to. It went over the Atlantic already and that’s good enough in my book.
It may be the same excitement all over again, but hell what an excitement it is – just look at all those juicy Things I Never Knew I Always Wanted To Do (In Glorious 4K)!
Ah, beautiful Californian winery. I kind of hope there's no job for me here.
There is a job and they might just have done me one better! I am hauling - well, duh - wine. To Vegas. I love you, Californian winery.
Reversing into that shed-thing wasn't a breeze but I am taking, you know, wine. To, you know, Vegas baby!
All done, and done. Off we go. Goodbye beautiful Californian winery!
A narrow strip of asphalt snakes through miles of vineyards. It's a beautiful day. Trucking doesn't get much better than this.
Except when it gets much worse. I hate these junctions, they make me talk to myself. Swear, mostly.
Turn-off towards Barstow. This is a job after all.
Might as well be a pleasant job though. Would you just look at that empty highway!
The speed limit in California is 89km/h. That's about 4 miles per hour. Yeah. I'm tired, and in need of fuel.
Barstow truck stop and lookie, I've found a friend here, too!
8 hours of sleep and resistance to my truck stop friend's idea to get hammered, I'm back on the road. I must say, the excitement is slowly abandoning me. This weather is shit.
Welcome to Nevada, home of... ah, who cares? It's 129km/h here so I can pretty much floor it - let's get the hell out of the rain!
Or not. Still, Primm's theme park puts a smile on my face.
Downtown Las Vegas. Now we're talking!
Hm. So much for boulevards bursting with life. Where is everybody?
What am I thinking? Where would everybody be on a night like this? Of course.
To my unconcealed disappointment, the destination of my beautiful Californian wine wasn't some galmorous venue.
But I'm no bloody oil magnate. I'm a trucker. As Las Vegas' traffic builds up to greet the sun, I'm off to look for another job.
We continue haulin’ next week. Through the USA and, if that piece of shit decides to actually download and install, maybe in space. If not though, we’ve a backup destination. Stay awesome!
